five.

I was blessed to have all four grandparents, along with all four of my great-grandmothers, alive for at least a portion of my life. As a child, and as I was growing up, I spent a large amount of time with my paternal grandparents, and with my grandmother's mother, with whom I had a very special relationship.

When she lived on her own, I would spend time with her reading books or playing with the little trinkets she always had sitting out for me when I came. {most notable were a Japanese fan + a tiny red dictionary that fit in the palm of my four-year-old hand.}

I loved to sit with her on the white + blue floral couch in her living room, admiring her hands, soft + worn through long, hard years. I remember loving to touch the blue veins clearly visible on the back of her hands, hoping that mine would one day look the same.

Despite my hope of being married outside, because my Granny would not be able to get around the field + wouldn't be able to hear the ceremony against the wind next to the water, we chose to have our wedding ceremony take place in the church where I grew up. It wasn't even really a choice -- Granny had to be a part of the day, and so I was happy to be married in our {fortunately newly renovated + no longer orange-shag-carpeted} church.

Granny moved from my grandmother's house into a special care home earlier this year. My grandfather hadn't been doing so well after a series of small strokes, and caring for both of them had become too much for my already-busy grandmother. The home was a perfect fit for my 97 year old great-grandmother, where her sister-in-law also lived, and where she had a measure of independence alongside much-needed care.

In August, when Rowan was just three weeks old, we took a four-hour drive to visit with her grandparents, her six great-grandparents, and her great-great-grandmother. Those who hadn't already met her were very anxious to greet the new addition to the family, and first among them was Granny.

It was one of the most emotional moments of my life thus far, watching my beloved great-grandmother holding my daughter on her lap, marveling at her tiny feet + praising her chubby {healthy!} thighs. I sat near Granny's chair + tried my best to keep my eyes dry as Joey snapped a few precious photos of the two sharing a special first time together.

We visited Granny at the special care home again while we were still in town and I snuck a photo of her and Rowan, together for what would be the last time.

Granny was admitted to the hospital because of a minor infection about a month after these photos were taken, but my family quickly noticed she was no longer herself. The former teacher who, at 97, remembered each one of her students, when she had taught them, what they had done with their lives, and where they were now, suddenly wasn't sure who was visiting her hospital room. The medication she was on was only making things worse, causing her to be confused + tired.

We were able to come home just over a week ago, and when we visited with Granny in the hospital, I left unsure of whether or not she had fully known who had been there to visit, if she would even remember we were there at all. She hadn't been terribly alert, and only made a few small comments toward the baby, referring to her as "he". I walked out of her room with a very heavy heart. A few days later, my grandmother told me that when she spoke with Granny the day after we had visited, Granny told her, "Courtney has an awfully pretty baby."

It was bittersweet, knowing that though I had just spent what were very likely my last few moments with Granny, at least she knew who I was, and recognized her great-great-granddaughter.

Granny passed away peacefully in her sleep on Thursday morning.

We packed up quickly, arriving home that evening to spend some time with my family as they prepared for the funeral service that was held this afternoon.

It was a beautiful service, truly celebrating who Granny was, and continues to be, in the hearts of those who knew her. There were a number of laughs throughout the eulogy and the few short, memory-rich speeches that followed it, and I believe it was just as Granny would have liked: kept simple, nothing fancy.

five generations represented:

Granny [97], Nanny [75], Dad [50], me [24], + Rowan [3 weeks]

I thought she would live forever. And in the little things -- the mounds of hard candy that were always close at hand, the vivid stories of days long gone, and the blue veins I admired each time I was with her -- she will live on.